Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Phobias & Fears

When I was growing up, being fearless was something that made me especially proud. It was fearlessness that brought me to Dallas, where my future was waiting and currently resides. Well, that was nine years ago and perhaps that saying 'Wisdom comes with age' opens your eyes a little wider so you can avoid stupid mistakes.

I've picked up several fears over the last decade. For example, I developed extreme anxiety and panic attacks after having my son. For a while, I was afraid to leave my house. I was afraid of dropping my son because I fell with him in my arms three times. One resulted in a bit-through lip and nearly broken nose for me and a shaken up, wailing 5-month-old. After I married my husband, my bones would shake every time he raised his voice because of past partners who had been abusive. Seven years later, my body still jumps when he yells, even though it's not at me. (Let me make that more clear. My husband is wonderful, but he has a loud voice and a stressful job. He is just naturally stressed out, poor dude. It's hard being responsible for everything at work and home.)

While I know the reasons for these fears, I thought it would be interesting to go to a phobia list and write them all out.

My Phobias:
Ligyrophobia- Fear of loud noises.
Macrophobia- Fear of long waits.
Acrophobia- Fear of heights.
Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotton or ignored or forgetting.*
Claustrophobia- Fear of confined spaces.
Dystychiphobia- Fear of accidents.
Hodophobia- Fear of road travel.
Iatrophobia- Fear of going to the doctor or of doctors.

Surprisingly, a lot weren't on the list, like fear of driving or being afraid to leave the house, but they fell into other categories. Most of my fears are self-explanatory, like being afraid of the doctor (dentist!), heights, and confined spaces. When Cole was a baby, there was a long period where the thought of driving would literally send me into an anxiety attack. Strangely, my panic attacks can also occur when we're sitting in a long line of stopped traffic or standing in a long, unmoving line. I start looking for the nearest bathroom, closest exit, easiest way out.

So there ya go. This tattooed hippie pirate momma is not fearless, and that's okay. 

*This one will be explained in a later post. 

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