This week my husband is out of town, which means I am clinically insane for the week with two children under the age of 4. They exhaust me just waking up these days, thinking of all the things we have to get done and all of those that will go left untouched because I wanted to sit down and rest instead of moving so fast it feels like I'm cracked out.
Anyway, we were texting yesterday and since he wasn't replying, I just told him everything that was going on in texts. Here is the randomness.
Me: Zeus has to be kenneled at night. This morning he ate my hat box, a record, my phone charger, and the rug outside Stella's door.
Kev: All part of the fun of a new dog. Did you go alpha and beat him with the hat?
Me: Yes, I smacked his nose with it. Hurry and come home.
Kev: Think he will shape up when I am back with some mean man voice in the house.
Me: Went to the park at 7:30 tonight. Realized Cole has two pairs of jeans so grabbed some at Old Navy. The kid got balloons they beat me with on the way home. The checkout guy said balloons cure insanity.
Me: Our garage door won't stay closed. Keeps blowing open. Creepy. I have a stye on my left eye that hurts like fuck.
Me: I am going to get 100 garbage bags and start cleaning out our house. We have too much shit. I'm smothering.
Me: So yesterday your son called me a stupid bitch when I took the strawberries away from him. I asked him to repeat it, smacked his cheek, took him to his room and told him never to say that, ever.
Me: Today he called me a stupid asshole. I don't remember why, but he got another smack. Stella has started punching and kicking me at bedtime. Woot.
Me: Talked to my mom tonight, who said my hair's too short, it makes me look too skinny.
Me: I weighed myself and the scale said **. Depression kicks my appetite's ass. I need you to take care of me, I guess.
Me: I'm not Cole's best friend anymore. This week I've been called a stupid bitch, stupid asshole, fucker, and meanie.
Kev: Yeah time to put a foot down on name calling