Drastic Hair Change

New hair! Funky, edgy, cool and easy to style any way I want to. It's shorter on one side than the other and the front part is long. The back is cut up high enough so you can see the star on the back of my neck. It matches my funky unique personality and all of my friends are loving it, as am I.

Here is what my hair has looked like in the past, so this is a drastic change for me.

this is my favorite pixie cut

the straight, plain boring hair

trying to spice up the plain, boring growing-out hair

What do you think, my friends?

Guest Blogger: Rejecting the Working Mom Guilt Trip

Tattooed Hippie Pirate Momma's first guest blogger is my friend and a hep-kat momma.

This piece was originally written for her friend with a 2-year-old who was upset because she felt guilty about working instead of staying at home. It turned into a piece about public schools & the media pressure. Thank you, Hep-Kat momma, for your inspiring point of view.

	How a single mommy rejected the guilt trip served by the media & public school system

Happy mommies have happy babies.  Don't forget to keep yourself happy. :)

Do not let the stay-at-home-moms make you feel bad about working.  We can afford to expose our children to experts & offer them better opportunities not available to those with low income.  And there is nothing wrong with choosing to stay home if you can afford it.  We mommies need to stick together & be supportive of each other.

As long as the time you spend together is quality, that is what her memories are made of.  It's ok if we need a nap after work, because when we are awake we have love together.

You have to learn to recognize & overcome condescending attitudes that are thrown at you.

It starts with the media, Martha Stewart, Mom Brady (who had a maid, by the way), but then they kick it up a notch in church & schools.... they are serious & they make it personal.

I promise you that public schools are terrible about demonizing working parents who can't drop everything at a moments notice to come to the school every week.  I read a great article about it, this myth being fed to teachers that parents don't care about their kids, when in reality they are asking parents to choose between work & being at the school during the day.  They honestly don't realize that this is impossible for working parents & it would be nice if they could prioritize what they need you at school for.

I had to "wait out" a secretary at my kid's school just last week. They wanted to give her a Draconian dress code punishment & I asked them to reschedule it so we could travel last week.  They refused to reschedule, so I demanded to talk to the principal. (You must be super super polite, never openly express anger or say "my kid would never..."  It totally throws off their game; they are used to being on the defense with irate parents, so when you are nice to them they don't know how to handle it).  The secretary refused to let me see him, said he was in a meeting till forever.  I said I'd wait. Then I went to the principal's office next door & asked to make an appointment with him afterwards.  I told them I'd wait in the vice principal's office next door until one of them was ready.  I do the wait-out as an absolute last resort; if you over-use it they will make it ever harder.

School is so different now.  They make it so hard to go to your kid's class.  They never answer their phones if you call.  You literally have to bring an ID & personally ask to get anything done.

The conversation I had with her administrators in junior high about my kid's "behavioral problem" was a great example.  My kid was accused of not staying in her seat during band rehearsals.  Now I already knew that my first chair trombonist sat next to a very very disturbed kid. This kid had been abused & neglected as a child & was adopted into the suburbs.  My daughter had told me stories all year about how the kid would throw things at the first year band teacher & how one day the kid SEWED her own lips together. (We are talking a 7th grader!)

I let the principal vent.  ThenI told them that I agreed with everything.  Anabeth should totally stay in her seat & learn to play her instrument.  I agree.  However, I asked them if they knew so-and-so sat next to my daughter in that class.  I told them I knew so-and-so had discipline problems & that I felt sorry for the kid & didn't want her to get sent to special school.  I also said that I knew it was that teacher's first year of teaching.

Then I laid it down.... told them in order for my child to sit still she would have to be protected and safe.  I told them they need to provide this teacher better tools so she could control her class because she was picking the easier child to discipline out of fear.  I also said that my daughter's glasses had been taken by the bully & destroyed by slamming a case repeatedly shut on them.  I told them that if they were not willing to protect her I only had two choices: contacting the school district or allowing my child to defend herself.

They were shocked & did not like my tactic. They said I could not encourage my daughter to use violence. I reminded them my child had no history of violence but would not lie down & take abuse, but would prevent her own injuries.  If not violence, they would have to allow her to remove herself from the line of fire & get out of the seat when necessary.

They relented & talked to the teacher, who quit giving my daughter a hard time in class.  My daughter was told to tell the bully "You are not allowed to hit me.  I do not give you permission"  repeatedly.  She was bitten once & my daughter bit her back.  The girl never touched her again & actually would tell everyone Ana was her best friend (scary).

This was actually small potatoes compared to the numerous ADD/ADHD recruiting conversations I had every year of her elementary school education.  She is curious & got bored with sitttttttttting all day long.  Her 2nd grade teacher had migraines & didn't really like small children & went on a mission to get my kid sedated; even got the principal in on it.  My kid had no behavior problems, other that wanting more challenges. I honestly think they have good intentions, but drugging kids is a default in schools today. 

The worst part is they tell you that you are failing your child as a parent if you don't take them to a doctor & get "performance enhancing" drugs like the other kids.  Like straight up, "how can you sleep at night if you don't drug your kid" kinda comments.

Stay hard, ladies.  Remember your kid is awesome.  Don't let them get you down.

P.S. please read this wonderful report about how public schools often misunderstand low income kids or assume working parents don’t care because they aren’t able to be in the classroom with their kid every day.  Really powerful article that needs to be shared with parents of young kids.  Ammo for those who are braving the public school system instead of homeschooling  http://www.icsd.k12.ny.us/legacy/district/staffdev/Low_Income_Parents_and_the_Public_Schools.pdf

Five Things Friday

This week was insane and weird. The mister left town for business last Saturday and there were three meetups scheduled with the Pirate Mommas... we missed all of them. Cole spent Tuesday night through Thursday afternoon feeding animals and playing in water with great-grandpa at the farm.

For someone who barely knew my great-grandfather, it warms my heart to see my husband's 87-year-old grandpa play with my son. Cole is obsessed with this grandpa and great-grandpa, and he lights up their lives. Grandpa Jim even taught him to say "I love you Mom" this week.. and although it came out sounding more like "I wuv you Mom" it made me burst into tears.

....And it suddenly started pouring rain outside.

So it's Friday again - already! - and I have some new stuff for you. 

Five Things You Don't Know About Me Friday

1. Lemon poppyseed muffins are my favorite.
2. I burn myself cooking a lot.
3. I heart Banksy.
4. I love the rain.
5. Discovering little patches of wonderland in the city is my favorite.

Yesterday evening the kids were both crying, so we went for a drive after dinner.  Discovered a magical little nature park right off the highway tonight not far from our place on accident. While at a stoplight, I saw some men fishing and a few little bridges that intrigued me, so the kids and I stopped and found a dozen or more baby ducks, turtles, momma and daddy ducks, geese, a pelican, and more! It was amazing.

In a Hole

For about a week, every time the kids and I would come in and out of the house, there was a horrible stench near the front porch. I made the pleasant discovery of the source of that funky smell while we were playing outside. It was a beautiful day, we were all in great moods and had just taken a walk around the cul-de-sac when they decided to play chase in the front yard. I picked up a lawn chair leaning against the garage and BAM! Huge dead rat the size of a baby raccoon. I swear everything is bigger in Texas. There are two empty houses next to us that had high grass, so I guess the rodents came to our house and got into the poison in the garage. I freaked when I saw it, but Kev was a weenie when he came home (weak stomach) so I took the shovel, scooped that dead rat up, bagged him in trash bags and got rid of that sucker. Go me!

sweet misunderstood boy

Sorry I've been hiding in a hole. Bit of a depression lately but I'll be okay. The mister is out of town until Saturday and Cole is so defiant. Yesterday, he kept throwing his fists in my face threatening to punch me, and I bit his fist. I was so tired of him screaming in my face and threatening to punch me, it was my first reaction. He cried, I left a mark on his finger, but he hasn't done it again. He did it again today at such a surprising time - we were in our pajamas cuddled up with blankets reading books together, and he jumped up on the couch and punched me in the top of the head. He will not make me cry. I will not let him see me crying.

I'm also failing at bedtime with Cole, who takes two hours to sleep even though he doesn't nap. It's [Sunday at] 10:30 p.m. and my son is still crying in his room. He loathes bedtime and says he's scared of his room but I'm pretty sure he just hates me. His dad is out of town this week so he's out of his normal routine. ....But this has been going on for a long, long time. We've tried everything from night lights to letting the dog sleep with him, but I can't figure out what he's scared of. First off, he's slept in the same room since he was 1-1/2 and we haven't changed his bedtime routine... ever, really. It's always been 8:30 and he fights it until 10:30. It's exhausting for both Kev and I. I wish I could just fix it. Secondly, we know Cole has nightmares because he wakes up and tells us about them. Third, I don't believe in monster spray because I've always told him there are no monsters, so giving him that would make me a liar. To his defense, both his father and I were and still are night owls, and desperately need time at night alone since they run me all day/he works all day. If we lay down with Cole, he will be out in a heartbeat, but I don't want to have to do that. Grrrr. He won't stay in his room without the gate up, and if I let him stay up to wind down and watch cartoons or play, he gets overexcited and starts jumping on the bed and couches and running around.

trouble

Overall, I'm feeling like a failure of a mother, which is probably cause for my depression. Some days I just want to give up. Worse, they've started tag-teaming me. These days I have to walk away knowing that I'm in for cleaning a disaster area when I come back - they've tried to flood my bathrooms, poured a bottle of Hershey's syrup all over the kitchen, took my Tupperware outside for mud pies, emptied an entire bag of rabbit pellet food all over the kitchen floor, eaten dog food for fun, covered the little white dog in chocolate, and broken daddy's PS3 remotes. We have had to lock the pantry door so C won't steal food! Little monster likes my treats. "One for Cole and one for Stella!" he says. He fed her my Hostess Ding-Dongs in her crib one morning. We woke to discover chocolate covered sheets and a happy little sister. Their antics could fill a book.

Guess who's sleeping on the couch in our bedroom tonight. Fell asleep on his own before 10:00. Maybe he just wanted to be closer to mom? Gotta wake early for his ARD for speech. Wish me luck.

Tattooed Momma Q&A: Samantha

Continuing in the series of tattooed momma interviews, here is part three with Sam of Texas. A friend of a friend, she was kicked out of an amusement park because of her ink. Here's her story.

Samantha, tattooed momma of 5 (with one on the way)

I got my first tattoo on my 18th birthday. For me, it was about having the freedom to do what I wanted. Maybe a dash of teenage rebellion.

Being a tattooed mom for me is like being an elephant in the room. Often I get curious stares and even questions from other parents. My children are not always welcome or included. Sometimes it can be frustrating. But I feel being tattooed and a mother makes me slightly different in my parenting style in a good way.

My children are oblivious to mommy being tattooed; they know no different. They do like to show me off now that they are older. 'See how cool my mom is?' sort of thing.

Several years ago, I was the subject of a news story on MSNBC and was in Inked magazine. I was denied entry into Six Flags over Texas for my chest tattoo of revolvers and roses. An older woman working the door compared them to swastikas. Six Flags apologized because, well, the whole matter was silly; they have shooting games in the park, for crying out loud. But it was the response from the public that was the real issue. I had tons of positive responses and well just as much negative. I once had a woman stop me in a nail salon and tell me I was contributing to the moral decay of society. I had complete strangers say I shouldn't be allowed to breed, that I was trashy and should be in a side show. I was told by many women that I should be ashamed of myself as a mother. Funny enough, most of the negative was from other women. It was quite shocking for me. I wasn't aware my appearance was so reprehensible to some.

I'm pretty tattooed at this point in my life. I prefer traditional style tattoos. I have skulls, daggers, pin ups, roses, revolvers, various animals..

I have five daughters, including a set of twins (ages 12,10,6, and 8 months), with one Team Green baby on the way.

Closet Makeover: Halfway There

hubby's clothes pushed aside made more space for my stuff! :)

long sleeves and jackets on the bottom row

makeshift shoe storage

shoes and bags - i <3 this built-in even though all my stuff won't fit

top row for short sleeves and tanks

 Spot any pieces you want to see me wear? You pick it, I'll put it together! :)

My ink tells a story.

On my left forearm, this one represents TWLOHA and my struggle with depression and anxiety the past 15 years.

This was for a picture contest with my online Octomoms, but it shows off my pirate girl. (i don't drink and i was seriously pregnant here.)

my momma owl in orange

blue owl represents my son; birds on my shoulder blade are a Kurt Halsey piece that say 'we are more than most will ever find'

purple owl represents my daughter

pirate rocker skullies on my hips for each babe - a boy and a girl

With the title of this blog being tattooed hippie pirate momma, I thought I'd show you a little bit about myself through my ink. The birds on my shoulder were done after my husband and my first(?) anniversary. I also have a cursive W on my left inner writer that I got for our fifth when he was out of town as a surprise.
The pirate girl came after my first baby (my son) was born because I was itching for a part of myself back. Part hippie chick, part renegade loner pirate, tattoo lover, and proud momma.
The skullies were deliberately placed on each side of the stretch marks earned through pregnancy (not too shabby of a tummy after two 8 lbs. babies, if I can say so). And looking at my arm every day  - a piece of artwork I drew years ago that my friend traced on my skin - reminds me that I am not alone in this world, that the more love I give, the more love I will receive in return. It reminds me not to give up.

*arm pieces by Pat Beck at Arsenal Ink in Denton, TX
*love and skullies by Derrick Teal at Love & Hate, Euless, TX
*birds on shoulder blade by Josh at Denton Tattoo Co, Denton, TX

Today's Kidisms

• I can't decide if it's cute or creepy watching Stella walk around saying her own name in Cole's voice.
• After this week's falls, I now greet everyone when with my beat-down looking children with "I didn't do it."
• At Kroger and the boy's unders are sticking out the top of his pants, which is hilariously entertaining... until he mooned the Starbucks barista. Yes, this IS my life.

Tweet tweet

You can now view my twitter at https://twitter.com/#!/TatpirateMomma

Crazy How The World Goes Round

Last night was an emotional roller coaster, which makes sense following the week we had. At 8 p.m., my tattooed momma Skye texted that she was at the tattoo shop and needed to get inked RIGHT NOW. Just the day before, she lost her lifelong friend Hill to a fast-moving cancerous brain tumor that ravaged her body within a month of diagnosis. I cried when she sent the message that Hill had passed away in ICU surrounded by her friends cheering her on to the sounds of dubstep. Hill was only 19. So I spent a couple hours sitting by Skye's side listening to stories while a beautiful traditional rose was etched into her skin with the date of Hill's death: 10-26-11. At the same time, my husband was calling my phone, which was tucked in my jacket pocket on the floor, trying desperately to get in touch with me. His lifelong friend Brian had posted his goodbyes online, having hit rock bottom after losing his job, his girlfriend, and contact with his only son. So I rushed home so K could rescue his friend from ending his life. At 1 a.m. with no word, I finally fell asleep.

This morning, Brian was alive and awake, playing with my babies when I woke. And the thank you message from Skye let me know that part of her was able to heal with that rose on her arm, and I was able to be there to witness it.