In a Hole

For about a week, every time the kids and I would come in and out of the house, there was a horrible stench near the front porch. I made the pleasant discovery of the source of that funky smell while we were playing outside. It was a beautiful day, we were all in great moods and had just taken a walk around the cul-de-sac when they decided to play chase in the front yard. I picked up a lawn chair leaning against the garage and BAM! Huge dead rat the size of a baby raccoon. I swear everything is bigger in Texas. There are two empty houses next to us that had high grass, so I guess the rodents came to our house and got into the poison in the garage. I freaked when I saw it, but Kev was a weenie when he came home (weak stomach) so I took the shovel, scooped that dead rat up, bagged him in trash bags and got rid of that sucker. Go me!

sweet misunderstood boy

Sorry I've been hiding in a hole. Bit of a depression lately but I'll be okay. The mister is out of town until Saturday and Cole is so defiant. Yesterday, he kept throwing his fists in my face threatening to punch me, and I bit his fist. I was so tired of him screaming in my face and threatening to punch me, it was my first reaction. He cried, I left a mark on his finger, but he hasn't done it again. He did it again today at such a surprising time - we were in our pajamas cuddled up with blankets reading books together, and he jumped up on the couch and punched me in the top of the head. He will not make me cry. I will not let him see me crying.

I'm also failing at bedtime with Cole, who takes two hours to sleep even though he doesn't nap. It's [Sunday at] 10:30 p.m. and my son is still crying in his room. He loathes bedtime and says he's scared of his room but I'm pretty sure he just hates me. His dad is out of town this week so he's out of his normal routine. ....But this has been going on for a long, long time. We've tried everything from night lights to letting the dog sleep with him, but I can't figure out what he's scared of. First off, he's slept in the same room since he was 1-1/2 and we haven't changed his bedtime routine... ever, really. It's always been 8:30 and he fights it until 10:30. It's exhausting for both Kev and I. I wish I could just fix it. Secondly, we know Cole has nightmares because he wakes up and tells us about them. Third, I don't believe in monster spray because I've always told him there are no monsters, so giving him that would make me a liar. To his defense, both his father and I were and still are night owls, and desperately need time at night alone since they run me all day/he works all day. If we lay down with Cole, he will be out in a heartbeat, but I don't want to have to do that. Grrrr. He won't stay in his room without the gate up, and if I let him stay up to wind down and watch cartoons or play, he gets overexcited and starts jumping on the bed and couches and running around.

trouble

Overall, I'm feeling like a failure of a mother, which is probably cause for my depression. Some days I just want to give up. Worse, they've started tag-teaming me. These days I have to walk away knowing that I'm in for cleaning a disaster area when I come back - they've tried to flood my bathrooms, poured a bottle of Hershey's syrup all over the kitchen, took my Tupperware outside for mud pies, emptied an entire bag of rabbit pellet food all over the kitchen floor, eaten dog food for fun, covered the little white dog in chocolate, and broken daddy's PS3 remotes. We have had to lock the pantry door so C won't steal food! Little monster likes my treats. "One for Cole and one for Stella!" he says. He fed her my Hostess Ding-Dongs in her crib one morning. We woke to discover chocolate covered sheets and a happy little sister. Their antics could fill a book.

Guess who's sleeping on the couch in our bedroom tonight. Fell asleep on his own before 10:00. Maybe he just wanted to be closer to mom? Gotta wake early for his ARD for speech. Wish me luck.