Bad joke

I wonder if anyone would report me if I started referring to my children as The Asshole and The Cryer. Ha!

Seriously, my kid is running around the house screaming instead of eating dinner. Later, he will complain his belly hurts, he's hungry, and this will last until 10:30. Ahh, the 3s. Terrible twos, fucking fours.. what's the term for threes? Aggressive, mouthy, independent and loud? Ha again.

Star Girl must have another tooth coming in because she's turned into The Cryer. It's hard to believe she'll be one in just a few short days. Poor girl's getting gipped on her birthday being so close to Christmas. I'm sure she'll hate us later in life.

Bad Mom Syndrome II

It can't be normal to go through your daily life with the constant thought of hating yourself, can it? Tell me no other mothers wake up and dread the day with their beautiful, funny, smart children in the prime years of their life, because there can't be many more worse feelings than that.

Laundry, dishes and daily chores are starting to haunt me as they pile up.. the higher the stack, the more daunting the job, therefore more difficult to know where to start in the first place. And how is one person supposed to get this done in a miniscule 8 hours between "I'm hungry," "Help me go pee," pee accidents, changing diapers, and making sure the one who can't communicate as well is happy and not crying? How does one person maintain their sanity? How do other mothers do it?! Because I feel like I am drowning.

It doesn't help matters that walking around harboring pain, combined with self-loathing and self-doubt, has me in my head constantly. Every time I look at my children's faces I wonder if they deserve better, if they would be happier with a different mother. I want to raise my babies with positivity and love, but when unable to feel those things, the overwhelming feelings turn to frustration and suddenly I'm out of control, shouting for silence and "stop whining" and "what do you need now," which makes the cycle begin all over.

Since I'm unable and unwilling to give my children another mother, I have to change the one they have, and that means some soul-searching on my part. Possibly giving up control to antidepressants and admitting that I need them, that I'm a better mother when I'm on them because they provide a mood stabilizer and that's what they need. Especially when my son has started asking me if I'm sad, if I'm happy, if I'm mad... He should only need to know I'm love and support and I'm unwavering for him and his sister.

Cloth Diapering for Dummies

When my son was born in October 2008, I joined an online forum for other expectant October 2008 moms. Among our discussions, cloth diapering has been my expertise because we chose to cloth diaper The Boy. Since then, many of us have gone on to have their second (or third) babies, and are asking for my advice on the subject.

So, here it is. Cloth Diapering for Dummies... or beginners ;)

1. Cloth diapering requires washing your diapers. A lot. If your washer and dryer is too new or too nice or not good enough, you won't be able to do this.
2. Invest in a diaper sprayer that attaches to your toilet unless you want to spray out breastmilk dipes in the sink disposal. It's an unfortunate discovery when the next load of clothes is stained with yellow.
3. Try different kinds of dipes. We started with bum genius AIOs (all in ones) and g diapers, some swaddlebees (fitteds) and found that prefolds from greenmountaindiapers.com with Bummis or Thirsties covers fit the best and are the most inexpensive.
4.  Learn the lingo. Basics are AIOs, AI2s (all in twos), prefolds, covers, fitteds... after you know what is being talked about, it's easier to understand.
5. Snaps last longer than aplix (velcro) because aplix sticks together in the washer. I don't care what people or manufacturers say, snaps all the way!
6. Get a wet bag for your diaper bag so you have something earth-friendly to put wet dipes in if you're out of the house
7. Some dipes leak more than others. cloth on a whole requires more changes than disposables.
8. Don't let the fancy high price diapers fool you; in our case we found cheapest and simplest was best.
9. There are throw-away liners that go inside cloth covers, basically a pantyliner-looking thing.A few moms I know use these but it doesn't make much sense to me. Either go big or go home! ;)

We cloth diaper to save money and the environment. When both babes were in diapers, I washed at least 3-4 times a week. Prefolds that have been peed in go into a DRY bucket in the laundry room and covers that don't have poo on them can be reused. I just lay them out to dry. (I suggest at least 4-6 covers and 12-24 prefolds to start with.) Poo, if solid, is dumped into the toilet. Anything not solid gets rinsed out first, then thrown into the diaper bucket to wait until next wash.

Some of my favorite sites:
greenmountaindiapers.com - i order all my stuff from here; they have starter packages and the basic FAQs
nickysdiapers.com - have heard good things but never bought from this site
diaperswappers.com - the craigslist of dipes; perfect to get a few different types to try

Moms With Tattoos

As a tattooed momma to two young babes, I often get stares and questions when we're in public. And since I'm a former journalist who digs research, I found this wonderful site, HelloGiggles, and started reading.

And now that I’m a Mom, I’ve gotten so many more questions from my friends, family and even complete strangers about my tattoos. What will you do if Henry wants to get one at a young age? Do other Moms judge you? What happens if your son is embarrassed of them?
It’s funny because these are all things I’ve thought about myself. My husband and I have laughed about the fact that Henry will either think we’re super cool or super lame. And that’s okay.  I couldn’t imagine having a Mom that had her arms, chest, legs, etc. tattooed but this is all Henry will know. And because he’s surrounded by our tattooed friends and family most of the time, seeing beautiful colors and pictures on peoples’ skin is completely normal and probably more commonplace to him than seeing skin without it.
And because of this, I do wonder how it will affect our son. I hope if my tattoos do affect him at all, they teach him to be accepting of different kinds of people and to never base his opinion on someone’s looks alone.  I wish more kids had that lesson growing up – we’d have a lot less adults who are quick to judge solely based on appearance and stereotypes.

Read the rest of this here.

"Hey ma'am, I'll watch your daughter.."

The family and I took a trip to the grocery store on a rainy Sunday afternoon to pick up baking supplies. It was the perfect day to bake. As we exited the store with our bags and both kids in hand, The Mister offered to take The Boy to the car and pick us up under the awning so we wouldn't have to get wet. Star Girl and I were playing peekaboo with her blanket when I heard a woman's voice say, "Ma'am, I can watch your baby while you go get your car." Um...... no thanks? In this day and age, what crazy person would leave their 11-month-old daughter with a stranger?

Replacement Therapy

Today I read a blog about replacing negative thoughts and reactions with positive ones to create new habits. This is something I'm excited to try with my son.

Since his tongue-tie surgery, his speech has not improved at all. If anything, it's gotten worse because he's developed a floppy tongue, so his enunciation is so unclear most times that I'm unable to understand him. This causes a chain reaction, where I frustratingly say, "I don't understand you. Please speak more clearly," when I know he can't. Instead of saying negative things that cause him to shut down, I'm going to try new tactics. (I need to research some lessons to do at home.)

I've put in three calls to see how to get speech therapy started, because as soon as he's able to use his new tongue, he'll have an easier time communicating, which will make our daily lives so much easier.
I am not expecting miracles; from what I've read, his speech may never improve. But since he's only 3, I think odds are in his favor, with some articulation lessons, that he'll catch up. In the meantime I'm having a difficult time wrapping my brain around knowing how hard it must be for him. My poor baby boy.

Scary Monsters at Bedtime

My son, who was a great sleeper up until about a year ago, has suddenly started talking about being scared of "monsters" and doesn't want to go to bed. So I did what every mom does when she's stuck: I Googled. Here's what I found.

Q. My 3-year-old is terrified of the "monsters" under his bed  -- it's gotten to the point where he wakes up screaming a couple nights a week. It's exhausting for everyone in the house, and I feel terrible for my child. What can I do to help him get over this fear? Does he need to see a child psychologist?

The short answer, moms, is: Your kid is alright. My Moon Boy is at the age where his imagination has started to develop and everything can be scary... cartoons, shadows on the wall, loud noises, too much excitement.  In public restrooms, he is afraid of automatic flushing toilets and often runs screaming. (Even though it's an extremely funny sight, I never let him see me smiling.) Even with an obsessive amount of night lights, he still claims to be scared at night, so I'm trying new tactics tonight.

Some points in the article stood out to me:

• Don't dismiss his fears by saying "You're not scared" or "There's nothing to be scared of." Don't tell him "Big boys don't get scared." Instead, explain monsters are only on TV and aren't real.
• Encourage him to draw or describe the 'monster' and try to find the trigger.

• Don't chase the monster away by looking under the bed. It will only draw out his fear.
• You shouldn't blame yourself for your child's fear  -- it's not your fault. Nor do his bad dreams reflect an underlying emotional or psychological problem.

You can read the article here: http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-mashing-monster-fears

Barbie Got Tattooed.

I

Read this and had to share..

By Kavita Varma-White

Barbie's been stirring it up again, but this time the controversy has nothing to do with her blonde ambition or bizarre body proportions.
Nope, this Barbie conjures more P!nk (the singer) than Paris (Hilton), with pink hair, leopard leggings, plenty of tattoos and a dog named "Bastardo".  Created in collaboration with the Japanese-inspired Italian designer tokidoki, it's similar to Barbies designed by Kate Spade and Bob Mackie as part of Mattel's collectors edition.
On its website, Mattel says the doll is "for the adult collector" and that it's sold out. But tokidoki Barbie's inked up skin still has people talking.
Some, like this commentor on a Christian Science Monitor story, are questioning whether the doll's tatts are appropriate for young kids.

Barbies are for children not adults [and] they should not be dressed like they are teenagers or adults.  Tattoos are tacky and should not be exposed to kids.

 Over on a Huffington Post story, a comment from Loretta Schrader says:

  Grrrrreeeeeeeat now kids in grade school and younger will be bugging their parents for tattoos and their parents will oblige .

Still, numerous others think the new Barbie is simply a sign of the times, and tattoo-sporting Moms are applauding that it's about time there's a Barbie that looks like them.
Nicolepierre, a poster on Cafemom.com's The Stir, writes:

As a tattooed mom who got pierced and dyed her hair blue to celebrate the birth of my twins (albeit 14 years ago) I so totally want this doll!"

 And as poster, Cait, commented on Babble.com:

This Barbie is great, it shows not to judge and that regardless of what someone chooses to do with their skin, they are beautiful!! I am so tired of people without tattoos thinking they are better then someone who does have them. Get over yourself! All of my tattoos have a very deep and personal meaning and I will never regret them.

Adds commentor Sabrinambowen on Cafe.com:

Sorry, but seeing how there are LOTS of children out there whose parents have tattoos, I'm not sure why Barbie (who is supposed to be an adult) having them is an issue... As a tattoed parent, I think it's awesome!

Parents, what's your take on tokidoki Barbie? And if you're a mom or dad with tattoos, how do you talk to your kids about tattoos in general?

Kavita Varma-White is a writer, editor and mom of two tweens. In between cheering at numerous soccer and baseball games, she's a contributing editor for TODAY Moms and MSNBC.com.

"Not a good fit."

Not surprisingly, after four short days at the exciting new job, I was deemed "not a good fit for us." It goes along quite well with my motto in life, haha. Always have liked to do my own thing. ;)

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