Tattooed Mommas Rock.

About six months ago, I was longing for friendship with other tattooed, hippie mommas and decided to take matters into my own hands by starting a group on Meetup.com. Who would have guessed that these women would become incredible lights in my own life when it seemed so dark?

This week there were two play dates hosted by other moms, and both were attended by only myself and two other girls, making for excellent conversation over coffee while the kids played. This morning sitting down with Brittany and Rachel, it was like I had known them forever. We are all so comfortable with each other and our kids have started to ask to play together. Their friendship warms my heart.

So to all my Tattooed Hippie Pirate Mommas, much love and appreciation. You have made my life so much better and my heart so much more full.

Bad joke

I wonder if anyone would report me if I started referring to my children as The Asshole and The Cryer. Ha!

Seriously, my kid is running around the house screaming instead of eating dinner. Later, he will complain his belly hurts, he's hungry, and this will last until 10:30. Ahh, the 3s. Terrible twos, fucking fours.. what's the term for threes? Aggressive, mouthy, independent and loud? Ha again.

Star Girl must have another tooth coming in because she's turned into The Cryer. It's hard to believe she'll be one in just a few short days. Poor girl's getting gipped on her birthday being so close to Christmas. I'm sure she'll hate us later in life.

Bad Mom Syndrome II

It can't be normal to go through your daily life with the constant thought of hating yourself, can it? Tell me no other mothers wake up and dread the day with their beautiful, funny, smart children in the prime years of their life, because there can't be many more worse feelings than that.

Laundry, dishes and daily chores are starting to haunt me as they pile up.. the higher the stack, the more daunting the job, therefore more difficult to know where to start in the first place. And how is one person supposed to get this done in a miniscule 8 hours between "I'm hungry," "Help me go pee," pee accidents, changing diapers, and making sure the one who can't communicate as well is happy and not crying? How does one person maintain their sanity? How do other mothers do it?! Because I feel like I am drowning.

It doesn't help matters that walking around harboring pain, combined with self-loathing and self-doubt, has me in my head constantly. Every time I look at my children's faces I wonder if they deserve better, if they would be happier with a different mother. I want to raise my babies with positivity and love, but when unable to feel those things, the overwhelming feelings turn to frustration and suddenly I'm out of control, shouting for silence and "stop whining" and "what do you need now," which makes the cycle begin all over.

Since I'm unable and unwilling to give my children another mother, I have to change the one they have, and that means some soul-searching on my part. Possibly giving up control to antidepressants and admitting that I need them, that I'm a better mother when I'm on them because they provide a mood stabilizer and that's what they need. Especially when my son has started asking me if I'm sad, if I'm happy, if I'm mad... He should only need to know I'm love and support and I'm unwavering for him and his sister.

Cloth Diapering for Dummies

When my son was born in October 2008, I joined an online forum for other expectant October 2008 moms. Among our discussions, cloth diapering has been my expertise because we chose to cloth diaper The Boy. Since then, many of us have gone on to have their second (or third) babies, and are asking for my advice on the subject.

So, here it is. Cloth Diapering for Dummies... or beginners ;)

1. Cloth diapering requires washing your diapers. A lot. If your washer and dryer is too new or too nice or not good enough, you won't be able to do this.
2. Invest in a diaper sprayer that attaches to your toilet unless you want to spray out breastmilk dipes in the sink disposal. It's an unfortunate discovery when the next load of clothes is stained with yellow.
3. Try different kinds of dipes. We started with bum genius AIOs (all in ones) and g diapers, some swaddlebees (fitteds) and found that prefolds from greenmountaindiapers.com with Bummis or Thirsties covers fit the best and are the most inexpensive.
4.  Learn the lingo. Basics are AIOs, AI2s (all in twos), prefolds, covers, fitteds... after you know what is being talked about, it's easier to understand.
5. Snaps last longer than aplix (velcro) because aplix sticks together in the washer. I don't care what people or manufacturers say, snaps all the way!
6. Get a wet bag for your diaper bag so you have something earth-friendly to put wet dipes in if you're out of the house
7. Some dipes leak more than others. cloth on a whole requires more changes than disposables.
8. Don't let the fancy high price diapers fool you; in our case we found cheapest and simplest was best.
9. There are throw-away liners that go inside cloth covers, basically a pantyliner-looking thing.A few moms I know use these but it doesn't make much sense to me. Either go big or go home! ;)

We cloth diaper to save money and the environment. When both babes were in diapers, I washed at least 3-4 times a week. Prefolds that have been peed in go into a DRY bucket in the laundry room and covers that don't have poo on them can be reused. I just lay them out to dry. (I suggest at least 4-6 covers and 12-24 prefolds to start with.) Poo, if solid, is dumped into the toilet. Anything not solid gets rinsed out first, then thrown into the diaper bucket to wait until next wash.

Some of my favorite sites:
greenmountaindiapers.com - i order all my stuff from here; they have starter packages and the basic FAQs
nickysdiapers.com - have heard good things but never bought from this site
diaperswappers.com - the craigslist of dipes; perfect to get a few different types to try

Moms With Tattoos

As a tattooed momma to two young babes, I often get stares and questions when we're in public. And since I'm a former journalist who digs research, I found this wonderful site, HelloGiggles, and started reading.

And now that I’m a Mom, I’ve gotten so many more questions from my friends, family and even complete strangers about my tattoos. What will you do if Henry wants to get one at a young age? Do other Moms judge you? What happens if your son is embarrassed of them?
It’s funny because these are all things I’ve thought about myself. My husband and I have laughed about the fact that Henry will either think we’re super cool or super lame. And that’s okay.  I couldn’t imagine having a Mom that had her arms, chest, legs, etc. tattooed but this is all Henry will know. And because he’s surrounded by our tattooed friends and family most of the time, seeing beautiful colors and pictures on peoples’ skin is completely normal and probably more commonplace to him than seeing skin without it.
And because of this, I do wonder how it will affect our son. I hope if my tattoos do affect him at all, they teach him to be accepting of different kinds of people and to never base his opinion on someone’s looks alone.  I wish more kids had that lesson growing up – we’d have a lot less adults who are quick to judge solely based on appearance and stereotypes.

Read the rest of this here.

"Hey ma'am, I'll watch your daughter.."

The family and I took a trip to the grocery store on a rainy Sunday afternoon to pick up baking supplies. It was the perfect day to bake. As we exited the store with our bags and both kids in hand, The Mister offered to take The Boy to the car and pick us up under the awning so we wouldn't have to get wet. Star Girl and I were playing peekaboo with her blanket when I heard a woman's voice say, "Ma'am, I can watch your baby while you go get your car." Um...... no thanks? In this day and age, what crazy person would leave their 11-month-old daughter with a stranger?